Learn to Bartend

It’s your favorite time of day at your favorite place. It’s Happy Hour. And it’s a cure for a bad day.

So you walk up, all confident-like, and pace back and forth. Trying to make eye contact with the cute bartender. But he (or she) doesn’t see you.

So you pull something off like this. You hold out your money like you’re important. And, you call out the bartender’s name as if you know each otherbut you don’t.

Please don’t do this. Don’t act like you’re the only one who matters in this world. Try to remember that there are a dozen or so others who get thirsty too.

The American Idol-esque karaoke act wasn’t that great either. So you think you can sing? Singing won’t get you your drink, waiting will.

Do you have a dog at home? Yeah, well whistling at the bar doesn’t help matters. Save the whistling for when Fido wanders away from home.

If getting that all-important drink will make you satisfied, then pay attention to this. Playing the lost “please help me” look never works either. Basically, you’re at a loss anyway, and you might be standing there waiting helplessly forever.

By the way, trying to impress the cute girl or boy next to you doesn’t necessarily score you points in this situation. Offering them the “go ahead” might backfire. Your place in line just got pushed back a few notches.

So in order to properly place your order, try to remember that patience is a virtue. This all-important tip will eventually get you what you want, and ease your ever-rising high blood pressure. It works, trust me.

Leave a tip when that long-awaited drink comes. In fact, doubling that tip might make them notice. Bartenders will most definitely remember you the next time.

So put on something hot and remember to leave that extra bill behind. Nothing like flaunting your stuff. May seem petty, but it definitely gets their attention.